Aeroplane Travel
Like death and taxes, the only thing you can rely on is that kiwis travel. Now that we are parents, we no longer tick the 'vacation' box on our departure cards, we now tick the 'visiting friends and family' box for our reason for travel.
When we were younger and travelled to all those exotic destinations as backpackers we silently prayed to the travel gods that the child screaming in its parent's arms in the Customs queue would not be sitting next to us on the plane. Now, heaven forbid, that screaming child is ours.
So here are a few rules I live by when I fly with my family.
1. NO HOPE - Don't bother hoping that fellow passengers will think your child is adorable and will therefore forgive them for their bratty behaviour. You know deep down they wished they were seated five rows away from you.
2. SORRY - you may as well apologise in advance to all passengers within a four seat radius for all the flying food, fits, spills, screams, kicks and other random toddler activities that your child will display. At least they were warned.
3. SUPER NANNY - forget the idea that you would be able to read a magazine or a book while sipping a glass of wine. Instead, try to think of becoming a career Children's Entertainer for the duration of the flight. Yep, you may recite Old MacDonald 50 times but it will be to an appreciative audience (your child that is, not other passengers). If you can somehow learn how to do balloon animals before the flight that could be a winner too.
4. DEAR HUBBY - if you do have a partner that you are travelling with, make it their role to walk your baby or shepherd your toddler up and down the aisles. Maybe then you can have that glass of wine after all!
5. FOOD - bring a goodies bag with lots of snacks. If you are on a long flight, I'd forget sugary snacks unless you brought your own parachute. Fiddly snacks like raisins are not only time consuming but also healthy too.
6. ARRIVAL - make sure the destination was worth the trip. If you are visiting relatives make sure you actually like them. It's no point travelling 24 hours to the UK to visit your monster-in-law. You want to be able to hand over the child(ren) to the rellies at the end of the flight and lock yourself in the bedroom for a well earned rest. Even better, go to Fiji.
pee wee July 2006
Email Newsletter 20 July 2006